The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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