so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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