My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
