Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize