i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
