Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
