If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
