Christians are straight up FREAKS
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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