I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
