Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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