Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No subtext here. People are naked.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize