I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
