He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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