I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
