i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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