Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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