I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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