The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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