a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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