i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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