this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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