I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
