Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
