Pappa wants mamma naked
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
