There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
