NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My underwear smells like fireworks.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
