I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Too much gin, very little bucket
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
