69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
