If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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