Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
