My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He better not be in your backpack
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
