Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
