i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I love black thongs
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
