belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
