i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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