so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
