Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent

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(330): View more from Ohio

just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm so glad i pay social security

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

His hands were made for my vagina.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Oh and I'm kind of in the library.

(757): View more from Virginia

Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.

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(713): View more from Texas

I miss my innocence.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."

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