I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
