Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
