I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
