There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
