Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
