whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
