Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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