let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
MIDGETS
????
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
