Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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