Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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