I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
