is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
