question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
