But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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