How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's blow job season.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
