oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
