yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
