so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
