Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
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