careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
