Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
