You smell like stripper and shame
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
