yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
